Marginally Political Post

Today, I read in the paper that...

"(US Senate) members voted 49 to 48 against ending debate on the motion to proceed to a full Senate vote on the Marriage Protection Amendment."

Which means, if I'm not mistaken, that they must have discussed voting on whether they should continue discussing the fact that they should have a discussion about someone's idea that maybe they should make a decision about this issue, and in the end, they decided to discuss it.

And that's why I don't get all excited about politics. Though it's funnier than most sit-coms, quantum physics makes more sense.

Besides, we all know who's behind it.

A Mighty Battle

What is up with all these giant, nasty black houseflies this year? I don't remember seeing so many before. These aren't your normal houseflies, oh, no...these are twice as big and have a definite attitude problem. (Evidenced by the fact that they insist on coming into my house.)

At least they're slow.

Today I walked into the bathroom and saw one such monstrosity lounging right on my clean sink. So I grabbed the hair spray and was able to give him a quick coating of sticky stuff before he could fly away. He flew up, then landed in the little decorative dish with the pretty rocks and the little fishy-shaped soaps. I sprayed him again. Little fucker. How dare he not die when I want him to die? I picked up the dish and banged it on the sink once or twice (breaking the bottom, I think). Eventually he fell out and dashed behind the faucet fixtures. I sprayed, he changed sides. I swiped at him with a cloth, he ran back and forth, hiding first behind the hot water faucet, then the cold. I sprayed, he ran, I swatted, he hid.

Finally he made a wrong move, and found himself out in the open. Swat! Swat! Swat! I got him! Ha! But he wasn't dead -- he was only PLAYING dead. See, I know that, because I gave one of his filthy little friends just such a swat the other day, and found him standing right back up an hour later.

This time, I shoved him down the drain and ran the water! That'll teach him! Die! Die! DIE in the SEWER where
you belong, you

foul THING!!

So, how was YOUR day?

At least it's not just me!

Ha! Today I spent some time browsing through strangers' blogs, reading about their lives, and am pleased to discover that I am not the ONLY one who whines and wanks online! Imagine that! In fact, from what I've read, it's either whining and wanking, or endless pictures of spoiled children, or a series of simpering minute-by-minute update about the tender joys of being pregnant. Yak.

Foreign language blogs don't count, since I can't figure out if they're wanking or not.

There was even a blog devoted to the horrors experienced by a former employee of a particular retail store...when he had the job, that is...five years ago. Let it GO, man.

So! I do not feel like such a loser when I complain about my life here online where the teeming masses can read it. If what I read today is any indication, why, it seems the WHOLE WORLD has a terrible dearth of sob stories, and we brave bloggers are doing our best to fill it!

Therefore, I am pleased to announce that TODAY I WENT TO THE DELI HOPING TO GET A ROTISSIERE-ROASTED CHICKEN PANINI SANDWICH, AND THEY DIDN'T FUCKING HAVE ANY. FUCKERS!! What is this world coming to?! Is this America, or not? Don't I have the constitutional RIGHT to a rotissierie-roasted chicken panini sandwich whenever I damn well want one? And you know what else? Last time I went in there for a rotissierie-roasted chicken panini sandwich, THEY WERE OUT OF THEM THEN, TOO!!!

Can you believe this?! I work HARD for my money! I want to CONTRIBUTE to the Capitalist agenda! But how CAN I contribute, when my attempts to participate in the consumer dream are so consistently thwarted?

Hot damn. We the People don't have to stand for this. I'm going to start a rev-o-frickin'-lution.

They're just lucky that there were eggrolls.

Cookie!!!

I can't seem to get any of my online bloggy-profile things to re-set correctly. Whatever. I'm sure there are worse problems than whether or not everyone knows what my favorite movies are.

So, how does one tell if another person is gay, or is simply not interested? I met this really interesting, attractive guy, and I'd like to know which type of futile crush to develop.

I'd also like to know why all my crushes seem to be futile. But I promised myself I would try to stop whining so much where other people are going to read it.

A GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY: I got a cookie!!!

Happy Satan Day

In observance of 6-6-6, I'll post this half-baked realization to which I came the other day, when I was, as usual, busy giving myself ulcers over existential bullshit and whether or not my ideas are "right" or not.

-- If there's nothing, then it doesn't matter how much I worry about it. (But it does, because nothing = everything, &c...that's not what I want to write about right now.)

-- If I'm "right", then it's all okay.

-- If I'm "wrong", then someone else is in charge of reality and will decide what happens to me (if anything).

Now, regarding this "someone else":

I don't get a say in their decisions, except for that I could brownnose and acquiesce to their version of reality, giving up my own and myself.
-or-
I could rebel, knowing full well that it's pointless and painful.

"Everything we do is futile, but we must do it anyway." -- Ghandi

So -- if I'm "wrong", then it seems we have two choices:
Be rewarded for giving up ourselves, or be punished for rebelliousness.

But which is the reward? Which is the punishment?

Neither sounds very good, does it?

I'll just assume that I'm "right".
_______________________________
Hey, by the way, if history is written by winners, how do we know who really won the "War in Heaven"?!

"Why, it says so right here in the Bible -- oh."

Uh-huh.

The best way to have a conspiracy is to do it right out in the open.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA!!!!!!

And if you don't be nice to me, I'm tellin' my Father -- AND my Grandfather!!!

Whine, whine, whine

I hate Preiteratia. Not everything about it, but enough. I'm sick of it, I really am. No, I'll stick it out, I know I have to. But I don't understand why it has to be so damned unpleasant. Again, not everything about it, but enough. I understand and appreciate its importance, but it's like a never-ending trip to the dentist. (Without nitrous.) You try to make the best of it, but the nicest thing you can expect after awhile is maybe a free new toothbrush.

One learns to expect disappointment so that it doesn't hurt so damned much every time. But it does anyway. What kind of existence is that?! Is someone doing this on purpose?! Is this a joke? Am I on Candid Camera?!

Today I will attempt to define exactly what it is about it that's so disagreeable, but the main problem seems to be that it's not right. No matter what you try or how much hope you have, it's just not enough to get things to work out.

Or is it just me?

I'll probably feel different later, but for now, I just thought I'd let everyone know that this SUCKS.