At least it's not just me!

Ha! Today I spent some time browsing through strangers' blogs, reading about their lives, and am pleased to discover that I am not the ONLY one who whines and wanks online! Imagine that! In fact, from what I've read, it's either whining and wanking, or endless pictures of spoiled children, or a series of simpering minute-by-minute update about the tender joys of being pregnant. Yak.

Foreign language blogs don't count, since I can't figure out if they're wanking or not.

There was even a blog devoted to the horrors experienced by a former employee of a particular retail store...when he had the job, that is...five years ago. Let it GO, man.

So! I do not feel like such a loser when I complain about my life here online where the teeming masses can read it. If what I read today is any indication, why, it seems the WHOLE WORLD has a terrible dearth of sob stories, and we brave bloggers are doing our best to fill it!

Therefore, I am pleased to announce that TODAY I WENT TO THE DELI HOPING TO GET A ROTISSIERE-ROASTED CHICKEN PANINI SANDWICH, AND THEY DIDN'T FUCKING HAVE ANY. FUCKERS!! What is this world coming to?! Is this America, or not? Don't I have the constitutional RIGHT to a rotissierie-roasted chicken panini sandwich whenever I damn well want one? And you know what else? Last time I went in there for a rotissierie-roasted chicken panini sandwich, THEY WERE OUT OF THEM THEN, TOO!!!

Can you believe this?! I work HARD for my money! I want to CONTRIBUTE to the Capitalist agenda! But how CAN I contribute, when my attempts to participate in the consumer dream are so consistently thwarted?

Hot damn. We the People don't have to stand for this. I'm going to start a rev-o-frickin'-lution.

They're just lucky that there were eggrolls.