I'm Phonin', and I Can't Hang Up

Never before in my life have I spent so much time with a telephone, without actually talking to anyone.

I remember when I finally broke down about three years ago and got a cell phone. I had held out as long as I could, but the convenience and safety aspects finally convinced me -- not to mention the rudeness and general incompetance of the land-line phone company. So I signed a contract and picked up one of those basic Motorola phones. It didn't do much, but I didn't WANT it to -- all I wanted was a telephone. I was amazed that I could make it ring different ways.

Then when that finally broke, I got a new Siemens cellphone with a COLOR DISPLAY. I could CHANGE THE PICTURES AND THE RINGERS. Boy, did I feel advanced.

What a piece of crap. I was back in the phone store within a year needing yet another replacement. The lady talked me into getting this little black Nokia camera-phone: "It takes pictures, and plays the radio, and has video games, and if you opt for the extended plan, you can get text feeds from the internet, and..."

Me: "Can I use it to make and receive phone calls?"

Her: "Well, yeah, it does that too."

Me: "Fine."

This thing has more buttons than the space shuttle, and for the first couple of months, I've been afraid to push any of them. But then I decided that I wasn't going to be intimidated by my own telephone, so I started playing around. I discovered the camera. I discovered the games. Holy shit! I can set my OWN PICTURES on the screen! I can download REAL SONGS!! I can make my OWN RECORDINGS FOR RINGTONES!! I can...I can...hey, what's this? "My Album"? "My Journal"??? I discovered the FREAKIN' INTERNET ON MY PHONE.

I can upload MY PICTURES to a 25m space in my online phone account (which I didn't know existed until a week ago) which has a photo album and a blog. I can get my whole photo album from my phone, as long as I'm in range. I can send my drawings and other graphics to my phone via email, and then email myself back from the phone to tell myself what I thought of them.

All I wanted was a telephone. Now I hope no one's trying to call me, since that would interrupt my phone time.

No Whining

Nope, not from me lately, not at all. The Universe handed me the very thing I'd been asking for.

A little griping, though, about a totally unrelated topic. What happened to Michigan drivers? When did they all attend California driving school? Knock it off!

It's this whole "entitlement" movement. If you're around my age, you may remember a little jingle they used to play during the after-school shows (or maybe it was on Sesame Street; I don't remember.) Kids singing: "The most im-por-tant person in the whole wide world is YOU..." and so forth. Well, apparantly a lot of people actually believed that bullshit. The only problem is that we can't ALL be the most important person in the whole wide world, so something's gotta give.

It's first thing in the morning, and I'm having trouble stringing a coherent thought together, much less a public blog entry. I can't wait to read this later and see just what I put up here for the whole world to look at. (Then again, I'm the most important person in it, so I can do as I please. Maybe I'll go for a drive.)